I have been sitting deeply with depression.

Not only depression as a diagnosis or psychological condition, but depression as an experience of the psyche—a descent into places within ourselves we would rather not visit.

Recently, I touched one of those places.

I call it the swamp of the unconscious.

There I encountered a part of myself buried so deeply that I had not fully known she was there.

She didn't want to do life. She didn't want to participate in life.

I did not know what FOMO was until few years ago when I was coaching someone younger than me. She described her stress and anxiety as FOMO. I did not make much out it.

It was not until last year, during a session with my teacher/mentor that this came up. I realized that my need to always do, achieve more, being busy was coming from that childhood fear and it was not working for me or my success. That fear was that Life was passing by every day and I was "stuck" in a room, doing nothing important or fun.